anxious

the deal here is that, well, i'm starting to get my own caseload at work and i'm realizing how crazybusy it will be. i wonder (quite often, these days) if i am really ready to be sporting the title of physical therapist... for example, i'm evaluating a patient with a spinal cord injury tomorrow and wondering what the mackerel i want to be sure to "evaluate"... and what oh what my goals for said patient will be... and like how i have another patient i will be working with in the pool two days/week and don't have the slightest clue right now what that will entail, but only that i really really want to help this person in any way i can. sometimes i feel like my poor patients are being cheated by being "stuck" with me... i mean, wouldn't they be better off with a more experienced therapist? but i know that is not the right attitude to have... c'mon carrie, a little confidence in yourself, right?? sure... :/ at the moment it would seem to be really appealing to fast-forward through this "getting my feet wet" into the profession. but were i to get to "that point" where i was pretty comfortable with my skills, there would always be something new thrown my way which i would be unsure how to manage, so it would seem to be a neverending process!

i really do love my profession, honest. but sometimes it just wears on you (read: worries, stresses, humbles) to realize the magnitude your direct impact has on these patients... and makes you swallow hard and say, "yikes!"

of important note is the fact that i frequently overanalyze. :]